00:00:01 Roberto Candelaria: Well, hey y’all Roberto here and welcome back to the show. Today we’re going to be having a conversation with Tarryne West, who is the founder and creator of the change one woman movement and community where they empower ambitious women to build lives and businesses that are vibrant, successful and deeply fulfilling. I’m excited about this conversation today. As we talk relationship building and business, we talk about the importance of community and her background in nonprofit development, how that’s really shaped how she sees her business, how she sees online communities and doing all through building through the lens of people first. So welcome to the show and join us for this conversation with Tarryne West.

00:01:05 Roberto Candelaria: Okay, y’all. Y’all already heard all the amazing things about Tarryne, and I’m really excited about this conversation because when I first got to connect with Tarryne, it was over Instagram. And if you don’t, like, know me, know me, like, one of the things that I love to do is comment on people’s stories, even though I don’t post that many of them.

00:01:23 Roberto Candelaria: Um, but I find that through stories, um, you can just build so much connection with people. And one of the, what would seem probably the silliest things that I remember about Tarryne’s stories was like, she posted her face wash one day and that it’s not toothpaste, just so y’all know. And I was like, Oh my God, I use the same face wash.

00:01:43 Roberto Candelaria: And so I like, I, I love watching stories. I love social media for that ability to connect, um, when you can’t connect every day, like on the phone and being out with people. And so yeah. I know you a bit, but I’m curious, like, like your own personal transformation and how did it get you to where you are today in coaching and in the communities that you’re starting to build?

00:02:05 Tarryne West: Wow, what a question. Well, first of all, thank you so much for having me on. This is an absolute delight, and I’m not sure how I feel about the main memory you have of my Instagram being me accidentally brushing my teeth with my face wash, but yeah.

00:02:20 Roberto Candelaria: I mean, there’s, there’s the ducks and there’s everything else, but it was, you know, one of those things that it was just like, such a relatable human moment.

00:02:25 Roberto Candelaria: Like, Oh my God, like who hasn’t mistaken one toiletry for another at some point?

00:02:32 Tarryne West: And that’s exactly why I shared it, you know,

00:02:35 Tarryne West: But that’s exactly why I posted it. Because I think so often as especially coaches, we have this idea of these perfect human beings who have it all together and never make mistakes. I’m like, guys, I just washed. Like, like you literally use my face wash to brush my teeth. I am not perfect, but, uh, yeah. So thank you for that. But I think, wow, my own transformational journey, I feel like has been such a long one and there’s obviously some highlights, but I think the biggest thing that I can say about my transformation journey is that I feel like I’m becoming more and more of who I actually am every year.

00:03:09 Tarryne West: So. The way that I discovered coaching was actually because I suffered from very serious treatment resistant depression. Um, so serious in fact, that in my early twenties, I was declared a medical invalid and didn’t leave my home for two years. That’s, that’s how serious the anxiety and depression was. And nothing really helped me, which kind of makes sense to me now as I’m older, because it didn’t, it wasn’t actually depression is, as we think about like the disease of depression.

00:03:35 Tarryne West: It was unresolved guilt and grief and all of these emotions and experiences that I’d had when I was younger that I just didn’t know how to deal with. So it makes a lot of sense when I think back now that what really worked is when I suddenly discovered coaching principles. And within about three weeks of reading my first Tony Robbins book and actually applying what I’d learned, I went out and got a job.

00:03:58 Tarryne West: And I went out and I auditioned for a. Role in a community theater play, like it was insane. It was miraculous. Obviously there was more to it than that because I spent the next, however many years continuing that momentum. But that shift was just incredible. And I truly believe it. When I say that coaching saved my life, I would not be here.

00:04:18 Roberto Candelaria: Yeah, I, I truly believe that coaching does saves lives and I, I love what you said about like, that it wasn’t just, I read a book, it was that you took action on it. And I think that so many people, um, myself included sometimes y’all, um, you know, we, we get coaching or we get an idea and we’re like, oh yeah, yeah, oh my God, everything’s solved.

00:04:38 Roberto Candelaria: And then we don’t go do anything with it. And. So I love that you even like harnessed into like, Hey, I read this. There was some great stuff, but then I went and did it. And that actions would actually like make things shift. And so like, what would you say are some of the things that you’ve achieved to date that you’re just like, Oh my gosh, I don’t know if any of this would have ever happened without coaching, like whether it be business or family, like, what are some of those high highs?

00:05:08 Roberto Candelaria: That you just thought like, that’s totally out of reach or I would have never imagined this.

00:05:12 Tarryne West: You know, it’s really hard to actually just choose one or two because my life is so big and I’ve done so much over the last 20 years. Um, you know, in my personal life, I’ve moved countries, I’ve gotten married, I’ve developed really deep bonds. I’ve, um, I decided I was going to be an opera singer and I went and studied that and I performed and then decided actually, no, this isn’t for me and went back to university and studied something different and started a business and got involved in, you know, grassroots efforts to help people with mental health on like a global scale.

00:05:48 Tarryne West: So I was very involved in a project when I would still lived in New Zealand, which was all about using these kinds of principles across the whole country to improve people’s mental health. So the number of things I’ve done is just extraordinary. When I look back on it, you know, and I now live in the States and we own. We own a cottage in the country on a 15 acre forest, and I get to work from home and do what I want and work with amazing people and travel, and there honestly is no one defining thing that I can say.

00:06:18 Tarryne West: Is the achievement because every single one of the things that I’ve done Since I started taking charge of my own life is to me a massive massive achievement.

00:06:26 Roberto Candelaria: Yeah, I agree and you know I know that one of the things that you’ve done that we’ve briefly talked about is like you have this background in nonprofit. Um, and did a lot of work in the nonprofit space. So I’m curious, like when you were working in the nonprofit space, this, I’m going to call it new, new vision or new community. Um, I’ll say new community with kind of this vision that you’ve had maybe, um, how has like the work that you were doing in the nonprofit space actually influenced your coaching methods and how you see people?

00:07:01 Tarryne West: Hugely. It’s been a huge influence. So you’re right when you say that this vision has been around for a while because I actually bought the domain name for the community in 2011. So I had a vision back then of what I wanted to create, and I could see it, but I just didn’t have the tools. I didn’t know what I was doing, quite frankly. I didn’t have the skill sets and the experience to be able to pull something like that off, but I knew what I wanted to do. And actually my work in not for profit is what led to me wanting to create this community space and these partnerships. So I worked for an organization, um, shortly after I resolved my depression, actually.

00:07:39 Tarryne West: And one of the things that we did in, in this organization was community development in very, very poor areas of the world. So the organization dealt mostly with leprosy, now known as Hansen’s disease, and Hansen’s disease is a disease of poverty. Most people are naturally immune to it, but if you live in extreme poverty, your immune system just can’t deal with it.

00:07:59 Tarryne West: So that’s where you start to see instances of the disease. So at some point they realized, hey, if we actually build up communities, then we might be able to deal with poverty. And then the leprosy takes care of itself. Great. Let’s do that. One of the projects that they were involved with was a micro loan scheme where they actually gave small businesses in those very poor areas, money to build small businesses or to, to grow their small businesses.

00:08:21 Tarryne West: And it had some pretty good success. It was an interesting project. And then in 2008, they got a grant that specified the money had to be given to female business owners. And we saw immediate and drastic shifts because what we saw when the men were given loans for their small businesses is they built up their businesses and their immediate families thrived.

00:08:41 Tarryne West: When women did it, they kind of developed these little tendrils that reached into their entire communities. So we saw them building the business and then hiring other women or building the business and giving other women microloans on their own behalf. And it just kind of like snowballed into this woman then sounds like get into decision making positions in their communities. The difference was incredible. And it was that point that I realized there is so much power, particularly for women in the building of communities and in the sharing of our experience, our skills, and our resources. And that’s really where this idea of the world can change drastically and fast if we empower more women through the community building.

00:09:21 Tarryne West: I don’t want to say instinct because I’m going to upset a whole bunch of people, but this community building instinct that women generally, and I am generalizing, have. That’s where the vision for the Change One community is. Kind of really started. And then through my not for profit career, I learned some very important skills, like how to build a business with no money, you know, how to bootstrap things and make it work and be resilient and flexible when you have no resources to play with, how to identify the best of the people. That you have as resources and the people who are invested in what their passions are so that they can find their space in whatever you’re building. I learned so, so much. And then of course, when COVID hit, I was actually the executive director of an organization. And it was during that time that I learned how to make the really hard decisions.

00:10:10 Tarryne West: Like how do we stay open? Who do we need to cut and why? Like all of those kinds of really tough things. Which I think just elevated not only my ability to be compassionate and empathetic while still making the right decision for the business, but also my ability to really look long term and make decisions for now that don’t feel good, but that are the right decisions ultimately.

00:10:32 Roberto Candelaria: Yeah, and, oof, those decisions are, are never fun, and never easy.

00:10:38 Tarryne West: No, they’re not. They’re really, really not.

00:10:41 Roberto Candelaria: Yeah, and I think that it’s such a crucial thing, you know, to be able to say like, okay, if this, and y’all, whether that be, if you’re working for an organization, like Tarryne was this executive director of this organization, or even in your own coaching business, right? Like, what decision am I making short term for a long term play versus what decision am I not willing to make short term that there just may not be a long term for this thing? And I think in the coaching world, one of the ways we see that is, and, you know, I think we see so many coaches, paying other coaches but still not learning how to pay themselves yet.

00:11:21 Tarryne West: Yeah,

00:11:23 Roberto Candelaria: which is you know a conversation for another time

00:11:28 Tarryne West: You’re so right, you know And I think the willingness to be clear on where you’re investing your time and money as you’re building a business is a long term decision, and it’s not always one that’s easy to make, or that has a lot of clarity around it. The other thing that I see a lot of is people making the decision to quote unquote go all in on their business, but not being willing to acknowledge that there is a time investment.

00:11:51 Tarryne West: Just because you’ve gone all in doesn’t mean your business is going to be sustainable in six months. It may be, and that’s amazing if it is, but for the vast majority of small businesses, that’s not going to be the reality straight away. And we need to be able to be resilient enough to make that decision of I’m in it for the long haul.

00:12:08 Roberto Candelaria: Yeah. And I think it’s, um, y’all I’m going to like misquote a statistic here. So, um, if you do want the actual statistic, please go to the Department of Commerce. They’re the ones that release this report every year. Um, but it’s something around, it’s actually less than 10 percent of solopreneurs actually make over six figures. And y’all like that’s across all industry, like the Department of Commerce, it’s like less than 10 percent of solopreneurs people without full time employees, um, make less than a hundred thousand dollars a year. And I think that, you know, there’s so many spaces that have basically make it seem like, well, just because.

00:12:46 Roberto Candelaria: As you said, I’m automatically going to make this money. So, you know, I, I, it does take time. Um, and I love that you say that, that it does take time. Just like you had this vision for this community. You know, as of the time of this recording, like 13 years ago, you bought the domain. And you’re like, okay, I want to do this. And one day it’ll be time. One day we’ll, we’ll get there.

00:13:10 Tarryne West: Yeah. And absolutely like the one day we’ll get there, but also the recognition of the skill gap was so important because it would have been so easy to, to buy the domain and go, okay, well, I don’t know what to do now. So I’m going to shelve it, but to recognize that there are things I need to learn and there are things I need to build and connections that I need to build before I can actually do this in a way. Which will ensure its success. That’s a tough decision because that means, you know, having a job. And that means having a very small coaching business for a number of years before it starts to gain that momentum.

00:13:40 Roberto Candelaria: Well, and one of the things you mentioned was like the connections and I love how much of a connector and how much of a relator you are. And so I’m curious, like, like your viewpoint, what do you think are some of the things or, I don’t know, keys, tips, whatever we want to call them, secrets, everybody’s got a different word for it, um, to actually building relationships in business, um, whether that person’s ever going to be your client or not, how do you build those relationships?

00:14:10 Tarryne West: So funny you asked me that because I had someone bring this up to me last week and their whole take on it was you can’t have genuine relationships when there is an exchange of money. Um, their, their take was that if there’s money involved in the relationship is always manipulative. And I thought that was so interesting because when we’re thinking about building relationships for business, I think we, we think about it backwards. We think, Oh, I need to make this connection so that I can build my business. I need to make this connection so that I can have access to these things to make more money. And those things are true. But for me, it’s about authentic connection first. It’s about recognizing that every single person and every single connection that you make has value, whether it ends up helping your business or not, whether they end up being a client or not.

00:14:55 Tarryne West: And I don’t just mean value in that they can connect you with someone else, or they can teach you something. There is value in simply connecting to other human beings, especially as a coach, because that’s where you’re going to what we understand and what we know and what we teach and what we give people is understanding of human beings, right? So the more that you just connect and be human, be present, the more value you naturally have to whatever it is you’re creating or whatever it is you’re offering. So creating connections for me is always just about the people first. Whatever they do for a job, whatever they can like bring me in terms of value is secondary.

00:15:30 Tarryne West: First and foremost, it’s hey, This guy Roberto is really cool, and he’s got a sense of humor, and he has a heart of gold, and he loves Disney. Like, the person comes first.

00:15:41 Roberto Candelaria: I, y’all listen, I’m over here learning too, because, so I met Tarryne, um, virtually, and you know, it’s been one of those things where I’m just like, she’s this really cool person. She like, lives like in this little fairytale land, and she’s Ducks walk around places like, like ducks, like who has ducks?

00:16:01 Tarryne West: I do.

00:16:04 Roberto Candelaria: I just, I need to know this person. And so it, I love that you’re saying this because I think that sometimes people go into things looking about like, Oh, what can I get from this? What is the client I’m going to get from that? Who is the leads that they can send me versus just like, They have ducks. How did that happen? And, and y’all, we’re gonna have, Tarryne and I are gonna have a conversation after, after we, you know, stop recording. And I don’t even tell y’all what it is. And so it’s, but it’s literally, she was mentioning New Zealand and some other things. I was like, Oh, she needs to know this person. I need to know if she knows this.

00:16:39 Roberto Candelaria: And so I’ve literally, like, Just been writing this down, even as we’ve been talking. So I love your point of just keep it people first, um, because I think that that’s so key. And so with that people first philosophy, um, and as you, you told us a little bit about kind of what inspired you and kind of what got the vision going for change one woman. Where do you see it going? How do you see it impacting women? How do you see it impacting the world?

00:17:06 Tarryne West: How much time you got?

00:17:08 Roberto Candelaria: I don’t know. You know, we got,

00:17:11 Tarryne West: the, the impact that I intend change one woman to make is really at a grassroots level and the way I’ve designed it is intentional to make sure that is the case. So it’s, it’s. Change One Woman is not about me as a coach. It’s not about my teaching philosophies or what I personally have to bring. Change One Woman is a collaboration of people. It’s about bringing multiple viewpoints, methodologies, experience with a people first kind of focus together. So every coach that’s coming in on board or being involved in it in some way is bringing their own unique thing, whatever that is. And The idea is that we bring those skills together, providing education, coaching, and community at a level that most people can access. Because one of the things that really has in kind of influenced my view on coaching is working in the not for profit space and recognizing that valuable tools need accessibility.

00:18:06 Tarryne West: And that’s not to say I have any issue with the coaches who are inaccessible or have like very high ticket offers. That’s amazing. That’s the niche. That’s where they belong. My work is on the ground. What I want to create is accessibility access points from a multifaceted perspective, where we’re bringing together not just one. Again, I’m going to get myself into trouble, but not like one guru coach’s perspective, but an environment where we are facilitating growth and connection. So I see Change One Woman growing into a network of smaller groups, whether it’s in different countries or in different cities, whatever it is, but smaller groups where More and more women are creating these environments using their skills, bringing their people together, whatever that looks like. But I almost see it as these little like bubbles popping up everywhere.

00:18:59 Tarryne West: And using that model of it being very grassroots and every person who belongs to the community. Being on equal footing with the coaches on equal footing with the organizers. We are all here for the same purpose and using that to step into leadership in their own lives and then using that leadership and those skills that they learn to empower the next person and the next person and the next person. So it’s like this spreading of the concepts at a very, very grassroots level.

00:19:23 Roberto Candelaria: So for people that I should say, maybe I should say women that are interested, um, in this, um, how do they How do they connect with you on that? How do they learn more about what the community is, how to be a part of it, if it’s a values food for them?

00:19:37 Tarryne West: So we are still very early days, which is extremely exciting. And my intention is to keep access to the community free. So people can go to, um, change one woman. com and actually just join the community. So we have a, a soon to be app based platform where you can access recorded workshops. You can speak to the coaches who teach, you can connect with other members. We have challenges and things going on. And. Once that’s really in place, then the private coaching becomes an option as well. So we’re trying to create an environment where even if you’re not paying for the services, there is value that you can get there. Cause I think that’s a really important place for most people to start. So if they just go to the website, we don’t even have an Instagram yet. I’m my marketing person is like, you need to get the social media going. I’m like, yeah, yeah, we’ll do that. Don’t worry. But again, because I’m people first, it’s like, first we build the space for the people.

00:20:30 Roberto Candelaria: And I think it’s so beautiful. Like, you know, one of the things that Warren and I believe and that we teach and often ask people as they’re building communities is like, who are you creating belonging for? Um, which is such a different question than like, what’s your niche? And I think that when we can. Start with that question of who are we creating belonging for it just creates so much more powerful spaces for people So I love it in that people first vein. You’re just like, okay, this is who it’s for we’ll build this and that you also and y’all I’m saying this because I don’t know if like Terrence said this and if you read between the lines What I really love that you’re saying is like it’s okay to do it your way Like there’s not one magic blueprint. Like if you want to build your community, build the community. If you’re in a space where you have any of you, you know, another income source or build another income source. Like it’s okay to take times to build things the way that you want for the people that you serve. And for it to go a little bit slower than maybe you think or other people think it should be, but that it’s okay to go at your pace. And I think that that’s also so key to what you’re doing is you’re saying, this is my vision. I have the time to do it. And so I’m, you know, I’m going to Frank Sinatra over here and do it my way. You’re

00:21:49 Tarryne West: so right. And one of my key life philosophies is simply that the rules aren’t real. And I really hold to that because the moment you start thinking there is a right way to do it, or that you have to do it in the same way that somebody else did, you’ll, you’ll get lost. It might work for a while. You might create some version of success, but the price that you will pay inevitably ends up costing you a lot more than you expect. And for me, It’s just not worth it. So the rules aren’t real. You get to do it the way you want to. There is no universal truth on how you should do this. And, and I love that you said that because you know, part of the pieces of the community that I was looking for have come from the idea of another coach. Which was brilliant. I’m like, this is magic. This is like the missing piece. And I’m doing it in a completely different way to the way that coach does.

00:22:38 Tarryne West: So you can look around for inspiration, but you don’t have to follow other people’s rules.

00:22:42 Roberto Candelaria: Absolutely. Well, Taryn, thank you for being here with us today. And y’all, I hope that you write that down somewhere. Um, the rules aren’t real. And that should actually be like, you should make that a shirt or something. You should have like a pop up merch store. She’s like, you’re getting more stuff to do.

00:23:00 Tarryne West: I actually have a terrible, terrible, like, I wasn’t even done in Photoshop. It was done in MS Paint. I have a photograph of me burning a book that says rules on it. That was my branding at one point, many years ago, probably about nine or 10 years, but I’ve held on to that ever since. The rules aren’t real

00:23:20 Roberto Candelaria: Yeah, I’m chuckling because it reminds me of like years ago before we had Canva, y’all. It was just like, I remember Microsoft, the dark, like, remember Microsoft Clipart? And like, Clippy, the little paper clip. Oh my gosh, it was a thing, y’all.

00:23:34 Tarryne West: The dark days before Canva.

00:23:35 Roberto Candelaria: Yes, yes, yes. Okay, friend. Well, thank you, y’all. Thank you for joining our conversation. Um, head on over to the website. Um, we have all of the links in the show notes and connect with Tarryne