Pivoting Your Coaching Offer with Chris Hale

Roberto Candelaria (Guest Intro) : Every now and then you run across a human, this human will come into your life and just absolutely change your life forever. And sometimes they may not even realize that they’ve done it. Today, I get to have a conversation with Chris Hale and Chris is one of those people. For me. I appreciate the conversations, the laughter the back and forth like Instagram messages, sharing reels and memes, that Chris is just one of those humans that when Chris shows up, Chris shows up fully. For all that there is just fully open to engage and be receptive to whatever conversation it has this ability to listen and understand, unlike anybody else, which is so necessary in an amazing coach. Now, Chris is a certified life coach, certified coach instructor and the career coach for neurodivergent people, and the Creative Girls/Theys/Gays and the host of the You Need a Coach B*tch Podcast. And so today, I’m so excited for this conversation. And for Chris’s patients, y’all. This episode was recorded man in March. We’re just now getting it released when I was down in Miami and Chris was kind enough to take some time and then, well, well, life happened. Nonetheless, Chris’s new website is fully up, you’ll hear us talk about it, you can find it at theonlychrishale.com. And so, hey, come listen in a conversation with Chris and I.

Show Intro : Welcome to the Relationships Make Money podcast where it’s all about the people, partners and profits. Each week we’ll explore conversations around partnerships, leadership, our thoughts and profits. And now your host Roberto Candelaria.

Roberto Candelaria : Alright, y’all. So, listen, Chris is here. And as per usual, I should say Chris and I are gonna have a conversation and who knows where the hell is gonna go. And let’s be very clear about that. And so, if you’re trying to follow along, you might as well just draw a bunch of dots on a piece of paper. And like we’re gonna play connect the dots because I have a feeling that’s what today’s conversation is going to be. And I promise you at the end, if you play connect the dots with us, it’ll be a pretty drawing, but I just don’t know what the drawing is going to be at. So hey, Chris.

Chris Hale : I have I feel the same. I have no worry about this conversation today. I was like, we have conversations all the time. Like it’s just we’re constantly it’s like, almost like we’re constantly in conversation across like, texting and Instagram and whatever. Like, that’s just gonna be an amazing conversation because we’re always in conversation.

Roberto Candelaria : Yeah. And you’re being the shows are so called like, Relationships Make Money. Like, that’s one of the key things here that you’ll notice is the people that I talk to are people that I actually know, they’re just not random people that like randomly pitch me some scary sketchy stuff from an agency. So don’t do that. That’s creepers. Oh my gosh, I my brain went off in a whole another place. I’m like, we’re not having that conversation. But you’re I love Chris, I adore Chris. Chris is one of my favorite humans on this earth. And I think let’s just start with, you know, what does it mean? Well, let’s start with the work you do. Like you work with you plus creatives, you work with so many lovely humans. And one of the things that I know that you help people with in a journey that you and I have been on is trusting ourselves and trusting our decisions. And let’s just start there and see where we go.

Chris Hale : Yeah, I mean, it’s a constant. Like, I don’t want to say constant. That sounds like harsh, but like, it is a consistent practice. And I want to call it a practice because, right, like, it’s, it’s not a process, right? Like we think about a process is like, if you do 123, you’re gonna get x, right. And, like, learning to trust yourself is not that. It’s not a bunch of steps that you can follow. That can like, give you the self-trust, like as a as a reward. It’s like, it’s daily, it’s minute to minute circumstance to circumstance, like case in point. My husband texted me earlier today. And he’s like, listen, I know it’s a long shot. But could you come in and sub this one ballet class from four to five today? And it was a real struggle because the my true answer was no, I don’t want to do that. Like, but my instinct is to be like, I want to help him, right? It’s one hour I can help him. I can I can do this. It’s super easy, but it’s completely not my plan for the day and it would throw off my entire plan for the day. And I had to like, do a quick like 10-second self-coach of like, what’s your real what’s your true answer? Okay, can you trust that answer? Can you go with it? So, I think that like, I’m saying this to say that like, I think a lot of people, or I don’t know, maybe I’m making this up, maybe it’s just my thought, but I believe a lot of people like, look to me, and look at me and think I have a lot of shit figured out. And I do, but way more of a chaotic mess over here than I think people really know or understand I just am able to show up online with a lot of authority. But like, she’s messy inside, you know what I mean? So, and it’s, there’s no there, we say that a lot as coaches, like, you’re not going to get to that place where like, everything just is like magical and rainbows and like you’re we’re, we’re thinking that they’re that place exists where everything’s just gonna, like fall into place magically. And we’re never going to feel that ever again. And that’s just not true. So even with self, like, trust, it’s the same thing. And what I really work with my clients on is like, it’s individual, right? Like, who are you? What works for you? It’s not a formula. I even got into this, because I’m creating a course right now. And I’m like, but there’s so many inroads. There’s so many ways, there’s no one way and how do you create a course that is like, plug and play or like, you know what I mean, that people can pick up where they need to. And what that made me realize is like, I have to trust them, I have to trust my client to like, know, what they need. And I do that really easily across from someone. But it feels it’s I’m having a hard time trusting myself to trust them when it comes to this thing that I’m just gonna put out in the world.

Roberto Candelaria : : Oh, my gosh, what you were talking about the plug and play thing, I one of the things that I talked about, sometimes it’s just like, I always date myself, like, I’m not old, but I date myself, I loved the like, choose your own adventure books. And it’s like you read it. And then you get here. And it’s like, if you’re here, turn to this page, if you want them to do this, go to this page. And I really feel that so much of businesses that is just like, it’s like, just pick your adventure because there’s no one path. And in talking about, you know, trusting yourself and kind of what you went through today with the ballet class and subbing, you know, to the person who may be saying, I can’t trust myself, or I don’t know, how to trust myself, or my trust-o-meter’s broken, like this should just don’t work for me no more. What are some of those things they can do in that daily practice that you suggested to learn to check in to learn to figure out, hey, this is trust with me?

Chris Hale : Yeah, that’s so good. It’s such a good question. And I honestly was just working on this with a client today, right? Like, just really tapping into like, well, this is the thing I always get. It’s like, I don’t know how to make decisions. I don’t know what I want. And I’m like, you made 500 decisions, from the time that you woke up to the time that you went to bed, you’re just not thinking of it that way. So, I think the first thing is like awareness of like, where are you already making decisions that you don’t, you don’t think or decisions. And I think that’s one of the things that people don’t realize is like, we’re choosing all the time. And most people are walking around saying, like, well, these are the things I have to do. And it’s like, no, you don’t have to do anything, right. You don’t like the idea of the consequence, if you don’t do it, but you don’t have to do it. So, that’s kind of the first thing I always like to work on with people is like, realize that you are making decisions all day long. You decided to get out of bed, you made that decision, right? There is always an alternative, you could always just stay in bed, I guess until like you have to go to the bathroom or that like you know, then there’s a choice to it.

Roberto Candelaria : But even then, it’s a decision.

Chris Hale : It’s either happening in the vat or you’re getting to the toilet. So, like there’s a decision, right? I love that. We’re laughing about this because I think it needs to be fun. Because it can feel so serious, right? Like people are like, I don’t know how to trust myself. And it feels like this, like huge, like mountain to climb right that they like couldn’t I’m like, and it’s like, everything weighs on and it’s like no, it’s like the same decision of like, are you gonna wet the bed or not? Like, I can’t believe that’s the example but like it was like it really is.

Roberto Candelaria : Oh my gosh, that’s gonna be the title of this episode. Are you gonna with me? So, once they do that, right? Yeah, like, what, what would be the next step?

Chris Hale : Mm hmm. Yeah. So, I think the next step after like kind of just acknowledging where you’re making decisions is being—bringing awareness to like, where that decision feels like it’s an alignment with your authentic self-versus not. And so, I guess the step in between that is like, we do need to kind of do some, I think it’s kind of it happens in tandem, right? So, this whole idea that there’s no set process, like it’s like, you know, chicken egg, whatever, like, there is a space where we need to, like, define our values, right? So that might be an exercise that I do with someone is like, okay, so what are your values? Okay, now we’re going to hold every decision you’ve made up against those values, and where was it in alignment with your values? And where was it and, and that can sometimes be a good like barometer for that. That’s just one way that someone can kind of do that. But I think that that’s an important step of like, did it feel good to make this decision? Do I like my reason for making that decision? And I love when the answer’s no.

Roberto Candelaria : But let’s talk about this. Right, like, so. Even the did it feel good? Right? Like, why is it that so many people feel that, that even a good decision has to feel bad? Like, why is it that we’re just like, I’m not allowed to feel good?

Chris Hale : No, because guilt. I mean, it’s like, hello, I don’t know about you. I mean, I was brought up catholic, we live in this like, like society where like, Christianity is like, Christianity is like the undercurrent, right? It’s like playing in the background. And we’re like, we’re, I think at our root, like, we have this belief like we’re sinful. We’re not good enough, right? Our human our nature, right? It’s something to be ashamed of. And I think, especially as queer people like, that’s, like hammered in, like, all day, every day, right? So, I think, yeah, like that message of like, the thing that feels the best to you is the thing you shouldn’t be doing. That’s, I mean, come on, let’s like, huge. And so yeah, I think that that’s really at the root of it. And we’re all getting a little taste of that. Right. Like, that’s what this like patriarchy. Like, the idea that, like, Christianity has an undercurrent, like in our society, it’s like, we’re all being fed that somewhere, every single one of us, no one is like immune to it.

Roberto Candelaria : So, let’s talk about how this works in business. Yeah. Because, you know, we see coaches all over this place, like, and when I, when I say all over the place, I literally mean, all over the place. I mean, all over the world, all over the cities, all over the socials all over income brackets, like pick your wherever, okay? Like, just the way it works for you as you’re listening. Yeah, yeah, just pick your place in life. And, you know, put your little pin there, like, where in the world is Carmen San Diego? Just, that’s all it is. That’s all we mean. And, you know, we were talking right before we started recording, and you were sharing that you’re going through this, this shift in your business, and I’m really excited for it. But I’m not gonna say what it is, you can say if you want. And what really struck a chord with me is how in building your business, you were able to trust yourself to say, hey, I’m going to do what feels right for me. And now that I’m a year into this, I’m going to do some of the other things that, you know, quote, unquote, should have been done to start a business but like, I’ve already been making money for a year, and I feel good. And now this feels good to me. So how does this like trusting yourself and trusting decisions? Carry over into business?

Chris Hale : Yeah, it’s interesting, because there was a little bit of a moment where I had to reflect on like, oh, yeah, I’ve been doing this a year, like, I just came on my, like, first year anniversary with like, my first client, like, we just started her third round or whatever. And I was like, oh, yeah, I’m allowed to change my mind now. After I love it. Well, I’m, you know, it’s the training is the training that like I received, it’s this, you know, this idea of like, like, the coaching community that I’m in is very much around, like, pick your niche, like, pick your offer, sell it for a year, learn how to sell it, you don’t get to change it until you’ve really like you’ve done it for a year, or you’ve reached your goal, whatever, right? So, like that is playing in the back of my head, which is somebody else’s rules for me. And it still did come up, right. So, it still was like, oh, yeah, I’m allowed to do this now. So that’s the caveat I give because it’s not like I don’t want to say like, oh, I’m totally trusting myself all the time, right? Like, there was that little piece and like running in the background that was like, oh, I’m not allowed to do this until I get to a certain point. Or once I realized I was at that point, then I was like, I relaxed a little bit. And I was like, oh, yeah, I’m allowed to do this now. But anyway, like, let’s like rewind to like, I don’t know, November, December, I realized I was going to need help in my business, and that I didn’t want to build a business alone. And that very much felt like something I was quote unquote supposed to do, right? Like you don’t need like someone to do your marketing, you don’t need someone to do your podcast for you, you don’t need someone to do x, whatever, whatever it is right? Like, insert any step of your business, anything that you could potentially outsource was like, no, you can do it all yourself. And I also have like a trauma response of hyper-independence. So, I was like, of course, I can, I can do everything, I don’t need a single person. Meanwhile, I have very limited energy. I’m a reflector in human design, if anyone knows what that means, and I have very inconsistent energy. And I have, like, our trade is like sampling other people’s like, energies and styles and things. And so like, I don’t have an anchor, like it’s more I do, but it’s like, it’s hard to like stay focused on one thing. So, I reached out to this coaching group, and like, I got 150 responses for like, oh, you should hire this person, you should get a VA you should have a total online business management. Like, it was just like an overflowing of like, like possibility, which, like I was grateful for, but it was also super overwhelming. And so, I had to, like put that on the shelf, because I couldn’t deal with it. And then something hit me where I was like, I’m not focused enough on like, like, exactly who I want to be speaking to, it keeps changing. And I need to I need something that’s like, like my north star. And so, I reached actually reached out to this, this client of mine who is a branding and marketing specialist. And we took her from her corporate job, and now she’s starting her own business. And I was like, listen, I think I need you. So, let’s just do a trade, like, I will continue to coach you, if you will brand me and we had a meeting yesterday, and she like pulled up the designs and my whole body relaxed. And I was like, that’s it. That’s my north star. Like that’s what I was missing. And, the thing I needed that was outside of me was not. I mean, it could be a VA, it could be like, it could be all these other things. But the thing right now is like someone who sees me in a different way than I see me someone who can like, can like take all of the things that I’m just throwing out there in the world from like, doing Instagram stories where I’m singing through the billboard top 100 from 1998. Because yes, I did that. Like, right, and so like all of these other like pop culture references of like, like, my, my hot takes on Felicity, as I’m rewatching it right, and like, and the coaching that I’ve done, she’s my client, she’s experienced me, and she knows she knows that side of me and, uh, for her to be able to put that in front of me and say like, this is a vision of like, what I see and what I think like your strengths are and I was like, oh my god, yes, there is my lane, like, that’s the lane from which I can, like, it feels like me. And so that’s kind of like how I came to this like rebrand, like, I’m doing a rebrand. And that’s what feels right for my business. And that’s the piece I needed in place so that I can make all these other decisions that I was like, not able to make, like, what do I need? Like, I don’t know what I need, until that piece was in place. And I think that I just like went off for like, ever. But I think everyone can find that, right? It’s like, that is coming my anchor. And I think like that’s the lesson is like, what is your anchor?

Roberto Candelaria : So, talk a little bit more about that for someone that may not understand that per se. Now funny enough, as you say that I’m in Miami right now. And there’s literally a boat that literally came up on the sand yesterday and like all the little police cars came out and like they threw out their little anchor into the sand, not that it was going to do anything like the boats beached. But I mean, it ain’t going nowhere. And it was during high tide. So, this morning during low tide, like the boats just there. And the same was off to show you when we’re done recording. I didn’t put it out. But to people that are trying to like visualize that for themselves. And this, like it may not be a branding thing, right? Like, what are some other examples of what that anchor could be or even to begin to explore what that anchor is?

Chris Hale : Yeah, I think a great anchor is like, how do you want to spend your time? That’s one thing I work with my clients on all the time, like, what is your ideal schedule, right? Because if you get to create your schedule, like it should look the way you want it to look right? Like it shouldn’t look like somebody else’s schedule. So, I think that’s that.

Roberto Candelaria : Right there. Y’all listen, you don’t know how true that is. Especially for coaches. Like if you don’t want to coach 20,30, 40 hours a week you don’t have to like to throw that there. No, it’s.

Chris Hale : So true and like and then you have to be like okay realistic about two things. If you have a monetary goal, and you only want to coach a certain without certain, like a certain number of hours a week, then your prices have to go up girl like you like, right? So that means that like, you need to then provide the value to support that, you know. So, it’s like, these are all the things that I think come up. But like that’s, I think, a really good anchor of like, how do I want to spend my time. And I mean, I do think experiencing all the different aspects of running a business can be important, right? Like in order to know, like, where you want to spend your time. But if there’s something that you just really know, like, I don’t want to write my own copy, don’t write your own copy, like, just don’t do it, right. Like, find somebody who can, like speak in your voice, right? Like work with, like, nurture that relationship, right? So that someone can actually like, represent you that way. But make that decision for yourself. Because it’s like, you’re either going to take the time to learn the thing. And if you’re not going to take the time to learn the thing, and all you’re going to do is spend your time managing your mind around the idea that you should learn the thing, right? Like, then you should have just hired someone because you’re just wasting your time, you’re wasting your time trying to manage your mind into something you don’t really want to do.

Roberto Candelaria : Yeah, let’s talk about that. So, there are so many schools of thought and entrepreneurship. And you know, there’s one school of thought is just out school, outsource everything to is outsource the parts that even you love that aren’t the best use of your time. There’s another school of thoughts, it’s like you should do every single thing in your business, you should know how to do it all and don’t outsource until you do it. And I think it’s so beautiful what you shared about like even the copy because, like, let’s just be really all I know how to do just about everything in my business. Except reels. I’m a hot mess with reels like y’all should have seen me on the couch last night, I almost threw the phone across the hotel. And I was like, I’ve spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to make this audio sync with pictures like I’m done. And this is why I’m hiring somebody. But when I started like the answer to who was me just because there wasn’t financial resources at the time, yeah. And so, listen, when I tell you, I know how to do everything in my business, y’all. That’s not a badge of honor. That was a badge of broke. Like, that’s just where it was. I couldn’t afford the copy. I couldn’t afford the VA. And so, as you hear us also like the mindset that I have now that I didn’t then as you know, as Christmas sharing is like, no what’s right for you. So if you want to outsource that copy, begin to ask yourself, what could I do to be able to outsource that, you know, and there will be the person will say like, well, but I can’t make an offer of I don’t have I don’t have copy you can literally text somebody you can pick up the phone, you can literally on Instagram, TikTok, whatever, show a video of your face and tell people what you are without writing a word of copy and get your first client or second or whatever before having to write it. So, I just wanted to bring that into because I think some people are just like, I have to do it on it’s like you don’t?

Chris Hale : Yeah, it’s like we want to eliminate all the roadblocks to making money. So, like, that’s my first thing with people like when their businesses new, like, let’s eliminate all the roadblocks to making money. So, like, what’s the easiest way for you to make offers right, like to get people to work with you? What’s the easiest thing? Right? And so like, don’t overcomplicate it with these things, right? Like, I made a website for myself. When I was in, we were in lockdown. I had all the time in the world. And then I started making changes to that website. And now the website’s a hot mess. And I always said, like, I’m okay making this website and letting it be a hot mess. Because one day I’m going to hire somebody to fix it for me. And guess what, we’re here or that day.

Roberto Candelaria : That one day.

Chris Hale : One day is here. And like, but yeah, if you don’t have the time, right? If like, if or if you’re believing that you need a website, it’s like you don’t need a website, you need is a way for people to contact you. Right? And pay and pay. That’s it, you need a way for people to contact you, or wait for people to pay you and a way to coach them. Right? How are you doing your calls? And that’s it. And then like, how do you find your clients? That’s it. Like that’s all you need to know. And you don’t need all this other stuff. I like I have a client who runs her entire business off of Instagram, like that’s, you know what I mean? Like she doesn’t have a website, she has multiple six-figure earner she does not have a website. Like you don’t need it. But until you do right until, until like, it’s something like for me, were like this new, like vision is the vision I’m holding in my head of myself and what I want my business to look like and it becomes my values, right? Because it’s authentically me. And I think that’s the part of it, it’s like, this is the it’s a representation of the authentic me. So now, as I’m building my funnel, now I’m holding everything up against this new brand-new image, this new vision. And it’s focusing who I’m working with what we’re working on what the stages are, that they’re at, in their own journey, so that I can serve them at those journeys. And like, it’s just yeah, it’s giving me a lane that I was seeing. But that I also didn’t really mean, right, I didn’t need that lane. But now it feels like that’s right. It’s like, when does it start? What’s the question? When does it start? Like holding you back? Right? Like? What’s the question? It’s so funny, people always like you have the best credit questions and like, I can’t even get that one out. You’d like different everybody else.

Roberto Candelaria : Also, as we start to wind down here, I’ve got a couple more questions. Number one is for coaches that are starting out. And by starting out, like y’all know, I hate the term baby coach. And so, when I say starting out, I mean, in a new offer, or maybe in a pivot, or maybe they’re newly certified or not certified and or just starting to start a business. What advice would you share to a coach going into business or changing their offer?

Chris Hale : Well, you’re never new, because you’ve lived on this planet for as long as you have. So, what are you bringing with you, I think, is the first question of like, we always think of like, what are what are the newness and like, what do I have to invent? And what needs to like, you know, what’s the new thing? And I’m always like, well, what are we bringing with us because something worked, something was working, like you have strengths that you can bring into this new offer this new thing. And so, let’s focus on those first. What are you bringing in? And then the next step is like, okay, and now, where are the gaps? And how are we going to fill those gaps?

Roberto Candelaria : And let’s see, I had like, three questions while you were sharing that, but we’ll go with this one. What’s next for Chris?

Chris Hale : What is next for Chris? Chris? Yeah, Chris is I’m working on I love what you’re talking about, you’re something that they’re wonderful I am working on. Well, so this branding, this rebrand, this relaunch whatever we’re gonna call it that should be kind of dropping early April. And I think with that, I’m just kind of rethinking what my like anchor offers are gonna be, I’m working on a new freebie, which is going to be intuitive scheduling. So that’s going to just be out there in the world for people. And then I’m working on a lower go lower ticket course offering that people can buy, because I’m really like, I see such a need for lower ticket resources, that are high quality. They’re not just like a marketing, like they’re not just you’re not just being in the whole time, you’re actually learning something that’s going to help you, like grow your business. So, I haven’t landed on what that is yet. But that’s in the works. And then I just launched this, like, I’m doing the six weeks, like hit it and get it, which actually might end up being my like, my, like, awkward because I just love the way it sounds. Which is this like six weeks, like let’s head it and get it like, what’s the thing that you like have said you were going to do the result you said you were going to create and then you didn’t create, like, let’s get it done. So that I’m like selling right now I have a few like, it’s limited spots. It’s like, I’m gonna do that with three people and see how that goes. And yeah, that’s kind of that’s kind of what the next steps are. For me. This rebrand is really like it’s exciting. So, I’m very excited about it. Oh, and I’m writing a book.

Roberto Candelaria : Oh, do we have a title? Premise?

Chris Hale : Yeah, it’s gonna be based it’s a “You Need a Coach Bitch”. So, my podcast title is you need a coach pitch. And it’s going to be the You Need a Coach Bitch book. So, it’s like you can buy me in a book form, essentially. That’s what we’re going for. I want you to be able to buy me as a book and like get the coaching that you need. And that resource. Love that. Yeah, but I love it.

Roberto Candelaria : Well, thank you for being here as we go, where should people find you? Where is this lovely new site going to be and all the other socials and shit?

Chris Hale 29:31 : Yeah, so the site and my Instagram is theonlychrishale. So, my website is theonlychrishale.com and it’d be really fun you can go look at my website now and see how janky it is. It’s not super janky but like it’s kind of janky and I built it myself and 2020 and I’ve made like little changes to it but that would be fun. Like go look at it now. And then. Then you’ll see when I’ll let you know when the relaunch happens. And then my Instagram is theonlychrishale on a TikTok is theonlychrishale. And that’s it.

Roberto Candelaria : All right, y’all. Thanks for listening in. Thanks for being here with Chris and myself. And let me tell you, if you’re on Instagram, you see Chris and you see some sort of meme or raunchy, we’ll just go ahead and send it over Chris’s way, I promise. Chris will reply, we have the most twisted senses of humor. And the other reason I say to do that is like y’all, the only way you can be able to build relationships is to reach out to people sometimes. And sometimes the simplest way is can be sending a meme that you think someone might enjoy. So, y’all have a great day, and we’ll chat with y’all soon.

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